The Best Christmas Ever!!

Thanks for all your hard work on those videos! We love, love, love them. But what we love more is YOU, YOU, YOU! Can't wait to see you all again. Enjoy your Christmas - you have made ours fabulous.

Love,
Nana and Papa

P.S. Although it is neither mentioned in the product literature nor on the splendid advertisement, the All-A-Commode will easily handle more than 3 squares of toilet paper (the proper folding is still important, though, but the manufacturer promises to fix this before next Christmas). Be patient. The units are on back order. Seems members of Congress had first priority.

Merry Christmas from the Ihnen(black sheep) family

Better late than never, I'll spare you the lame excuses.

FL Rew are up and rolling

Untitled from Sarah Rew on Vimeo.

Merry Christmas From the Rew's

Hope you all enjoy the video. If you can't view it, here is the link to view it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TrihSdLwH8I

Love,
Brad and Thera

Nana and Papa Wish You All A Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas From The Hoskins!

Here is our video! The kids worked hard putting this together. We are still out on the road but wanted to make sure to get this up. We hope everyone had a fun 3 Squares Christmas Season. We can't wait to see everyone's video!

MONDAY, DECEMBER 19, 2011
This Blog has Been HIJACKED!!!
Unknown here, letting you know the latest at 3SFF. The CEO left town, without much notice. She took 98% of the staff with her. For some reason she felt it was necessary for all of the Oregon staff to play in the snow for a week rather than complete her blogging duties. Something about the "Call of the Wild" in Flagstaff Arizona.

Being quite unprepared for this writing assignment I am flying by the seat of my pants, quite literally. I am usually laughing hysterically as I read each post never thinking that it takes much to mock the unwilling participants talked about each day.
I am a computer illiterate and I am not sure this will even make it up. But something has to be posted to save face.

Rumor has it that most of the filming is done and ready for publication on Christmas Eve! Impressive! I guess the little hissy fit I threw last year due to the lateness of some films (You know who you are) had more of an affect than I realized. This power could go to my head.

Well now that we have established that I have control of the blog. Feel free to call me and ask for the password and you can get on and post something. If you don't call I will assume that you haven't read today's post, and of course that you don't care, and that I am being neglected again, and that nobody loves me or appreciates me, and that every other mother and mother-in-law has perfect children that love and adore them and who do everything they are asked to do. Am I over playing this Power thing?
Posted by Three Squares Film Festival at 4:29 PM
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A Message From 3SFF

What the Crap

Is exactly what I was thinking when I found out that Brad's spot on Hannity was given to Christine O'donnell. She went on to give her endorsment to Mitt Romney. Mitt Romney excepted her endorsement which included the prophetic statement-

"he's been consistent since he changed his mind."

Now Mitt I think everyone who lives outside of the looney bin would agree that an endorsement from Curious George would hold more clout than Crazy Christine.

This is just frustrating for all of us. We are in a bit of a conundrum.

The liberal republicans here at 3SFF have been preparing to give their endorsement. I am sure Brad would have been willing to do it right on Hannity.

Many people thought this blog would lean a little towards Romney for obvious reasons. We share one big commonality with Mitt. We too have been misjudged and marginalized simply because we have great heads of hair.

After this whole Hannity fiasco there's been talk of going down a whole new route.

Brad spoke to a real estate tycoon billionaire friend of his and then announced to our staff-


"I'm going to mill around my endorsement. Take my time. If no one impresses me enough I am going to throw my hat in for an independent run."

I know what your thinking he does that every election. It's true, but, 2012 just might be his year.

Mitt there is still time. I am sure if you come to the table with some kind of offer of a cabinet position or maybe let Janna find the next white house dog on craigslist, Brad just might change his mind.

Otherwise. We'll for sure carry the short people vote. We have Josh so if we are asked difficult questions from the lamestream media we can answer "Yes we've heard of Libya." Also Howard reads the newspaper daily and we are all on our first marriages. This campaign could really be a power house.

Brad's preparing his autobiography as we speak.

Gold Rush West Richland

Brad has wrapped up the taping of his reality TV series "Gold Rush West Richland". We thought we'd give everyone a sneak peak of the trailer currently starring Brad as the lone prospector or tramp, Reed Kinney as the adventurer, and Thera as the romantic lead. Ryan makes a cameo as the outlaw.

Who knew there were black bears in the far north of West Richland? Oh the things Brad can do with forks.

Secrets Tuesday

There's been some delay to Brad's appearance on Hannity. Their people are talking to our people. They claim it has to do with our support of unions and the absurd amount of NPR Sarah and Josh have listened to over the years. Unfortunately we know the truth and this is why Janna has decided to come forward and reveal her secret.

Janna is a short statured adult.

She is coming out today as full fledged member of nossaonline.org

Why?

Because of Florida House Bill 4063 and the attempted legalization of Smeagle Throwing.

Janna wants to use her celebrity for good. She says Floridians should be ashamed of themselves.

Now it would take Glenn Beck and a really big blackboard to explain what is really going on here, but, let me just say this;

It is our passionate stand against HB 4063 that is the real reason Brad's not on Hannity.

3SFFwill not be intimidated.

Another Tip On Finishing The Video

From Your Bossy Sister Jen

And Other Life Lessons

If you are on track you should have at least decided your video idea by now. This week you are going to write your plan of action. Include a to do list.

The idea of a to do list is that you will remember what needs to be done and complete the task in a timely matter. In this case a timely manner is before Dec. 24, 2011.

To do lists can also be used in every day life. One might write on their to do list-

finish my PHD

knit an infant cap inspired by an ibex while cooking something noone's heard of

find dogs I'll never actually adopt on Craigslist

do something rather than having Chad do it all

research toilets that can manage more than 3 squares of toilet paper at a time

stop posioning my mind with AM radio

At any rate, once your list is complete the next step would be ACTION. I say a good time to complete your video is no later than this weekend.

Have a great day!

**NEWS FLASH**

Brad is making a guest appearance on Hannity's radio show at 12:00 on Monday. I mention Hannity on the blog and he comes begging. These opportunities come your way when your family has a wildly successful Christmas blog. He'll be discussing small business yada yada. I am confident he'll do a great job. It still doesn't change the fact that this blog has a left wing agenda.

As for the free publicity, Sean Hannity you are welcome.


Brad the world will be listening. Good luck. The family is proud.

Conversion Challenge 2011

Ryan will take the missionary discussions and possibly even commit to baptism (depending on Janna's enthusiasm) if...


Janna streaks this years ward Christmas party.



Wouldn't that be awesome. No one would forget that party. I bet everyone would attend the next years party. It would be one for the record books.



This is what I have to say to Janna-



First of all it was Ryan's idea. If there is nudity involved it is always Ryan's idea. Second of all, greater love hath no mother-in-law than this that she run bare bummeth across the stake center stage while her ward members cheweth ham so that her son-in-law might partaketh of the truthfulness of the gospel. Isn't that the true reason for the season?



Side note to Sarah and Josh. Yes Dad is truly a stretch and flex specialist. He and Janna stretch and flex regularly together. He got certified before retiring. No joke.

Also side note to Missy. I would be happy to share my brownie recipe with any and all. I took up baking them following this year's family reunion. Why? Because you only live once.

It's the reason the blog rocks this year!

Wednesday- Job Hunt for Josh Day!

Josh is finishing up his PHD here very soon. We all want him and Sarah, Olivia, Brody and Luisa to relocate closer to 3SFF headquarters. Mainly to insure their video is completed on time each year. We all want to help. The problem is no one actually knows what Josh does for a living. Aside from the fact that he is brilliant, I don't have a clue. Do you?

Due to the fact that this is a very down economy, I am thinking that Josh should broaden his horizons as he begins his job search. Maybe from whatever it is his PHD is in, to one of the many wonderful opportunities available today on the Tri-City Craigslist page.

These are actual jobs posted from December on Craigslist for the Tri-Cities. I merely copied them. I know what you are thinking, she should really put more effort into this blog.


AMS OIL COMPANY Become an ams oil dealer - (zebulun,nc) marketing/advertising/PR

(I thought that one said become an ARMS dealer,Josh could do that.)


Synthetic Dreadlock Installation - salon/spa/fitness

(Surely this is a skill you have picked up)


Someone's dream job: Golf, Non-Profits, and Sports Gear - (Pasco, WA) sales

(Now Josh who said it had to be "your" dream job, isn't "someone's" good enough)


QUALITY ASSURANCE (QA) SPECIALIST - (HANFORD) government

(This one's for Dad, just in case retirement doesn't pan out)


Exotic Dancers needed. **No Experience Required** - (Tri-Cities) img sales

(But a PHD has got to make you a shoe-in)


Wanted: Serious Moms who want to work from home - sales

(This one is not for Josh but any moms out their who lack a sense of humor)


Turkish voice needed for dubbing - (Walla Walla) tv/film/video/radio

(Just in case your PHD has something to do with Turkey)


PT FAMILY CRISIS: Is Your Teenage Daughter Out of Control? - (Washington/Oregon Area) tv/film/video/radio

(kind of an unusual job qualification)


This is what I have for you so far. I think it would be best to tailor your resume to each specific position.

Come back tomorrow for the "Conversion Challenge 2011"

Gold Rush West Richland Part 2

Going for the "Glory Hole"

Inspired by the reality TV series "Gold Rush: Alaska" Brad or "Dakota Brad" as we all now call him has been struggling with his rag tag crew of MBM's (Mano by marriage) to hit pay dirt on what he feels is his "Glory Hole".

He had calculated to beat the original crew from the show in Porcupine Creek, Alaska he would just need to earn back at least .02% of what he's invested thus far. Which was really just some shovels and a few lunches at Samurai Sam's. Things have changed. They are now calling the old sand volleyball court the "Glory Hole". He's got gold fever. There's no stopping.

Why? Because he struck gold. A shiny little nugget was found just feet below the surface.

Unfortunately, the mine is actually bone dry.

Desperate to get Dakota Brad back to work on his Construction Company/Magazine, Howard's been melting Janna's jewelry in the garage. He then buries it out on the mine claim on his way home from church meetings. He believed that if they reached their goal that Dakota Brad and his MBM's would come back to the office. It's lonely listening to AM radio by yourself.

Unfortunately for Howard that small bit of success which was once a gold locket has just spurred them all on. It's going to be a long winter.

Howard's praying the ground will freeze.

Secrets Tuesday - Janna & Howard Raised Democrats

Not all of them of course but enough of them for it to be scandalous.

It's true all that Rush Limbaugh and Dr. Laura of our childhood took no hold.

They have two who are liberal enough to have voted for the current socialist regime and one who is in bed with the Union, leaving only one child left to listen to AM radio. Howard follows him to work daily and tunes the radio to Hannity other wise I'm pretty sure he would have succumbed as well.

For a while Janna was attending Mitt Romney events hoping it would hide the fact that two years after the election one of her children still has a "Vote Hillary" sign in their yard.

It's embarrassing.

How could she have raised a bunch of tree hugging softies? She should have spanked us more. Too much love was going on in our home.

And so she had to resort to desperate measures=

When the Occupy protests began she confiscated our camping equipment. She said it was for the "sake of the children".

Any good Christian woman would have done the same.

But I say Howard and Janna keep good company. They shouldn't hang their heads too low. After all George and Amy Faust also raised a democrat. In fact their son worked for John F. Kennedy on the committee for civil rights.

Stay tuned for more "Gold Rush West Richland".

Did you know? Jen used to dance on a highschool dance team called the "Gold Rush". Glenn Beck would be so proud.

Todays gold prices 1734.50 per ounce.

Bender and Rehab

On October 31st, 2011 the lead guitarist for "Hoskins Hairband" was found face down in a pile of Reeses peanut butter cups. He'd been on a three hour candy bender of epic proportions. The band felt like rehab was really the only option for him at this point. Unfortunately this led to the ultimate unraveling of "Hoskins Hairband".

After a successful two year run performing in Arizona's finest Indian casinos they have all gone their separate ways. The lead singer is pursuing a solo career. The main keyboardist is filling in as a judge on X Factor. The drummer is selling the Amazing Squeegee mop on The Home Shopping Network. Some of the band members are being featured in an upcoming reality TV series. The final band member has been appointed as UN Ambassador to Guinea.

We will all be disappointed to not have an 80's hair band music video as part of the film festival this year. No worries though 3SFF has something way better planned for you. You are not going to want to miss it. We've got 19 days till the festival!

Come back tomorrow for Secrets Tuesday. We've got a doozy this week. It's something Janna's been trying to hide from her extended family members, ward members and even neighbors for years. We've been forbidden to discuss at family dinners and reunions, although it always seems to seep out. There's no hiding now though, tomorrow we lay it all on the table.

This week will also have more episodes of "Gold Rush West Richland" and "Life Lessons With Your Bossy Sister Jen" along with the "Conversion 2011 Challenge".

Why Stephen Colbert Should Imitate Howard-

He would just need to salt n pepper it up a bit. I think he could pull if off.

You know who else might be able to pull off a Howard impersonation?

Bob Saget.

Advice on Finishing Your Film

By Your Bossy Sister Jen

And Other Life Lessons

Today is the day to choose what you are doing for the film festival.

There are many ways to do something right so just pick one and stick to it. If you are thinking that you just haven't come up with the perfect idea-

Life lesson #1 - nothing is perfect.

In the case of the film festival it is not and has never been "the thought that counts".

If you procrastinate and turn it in late no matter how fabulous it is, it will be late, and late won't work.

This can be applied to many things. Take note.

Conception

Horse Racing

Catching a Flight

Mortgage Payments

And just in case you are thinking I thought it was always "the thought that counts".

When breathing. Not so.

When paying taxes. Not so.

Serving a prison sentence. Not so.

and

The same goes for the Film Festival.

I'll be back next with a side by side comparison of Howard to Stephen Colbert entitled "Why Stephen Colbert should Imitate Howard". After all they look so much a like.

Your Loving Sister,

Jen

ASK HOWARD?

Now that you are retired are you still excited for the weekend?

Howard threw this little response together in the last couple of days. Please excuse the technical difficulties. For some reason Janna taped it while looking into a mirror. Ask her. Special thanks to family friends The Roots and Jimmy Fallon.





Good news it's Almost Friday. Now that he's retired he's such a teenager.

Gold Rush West Richland

Brad has compiled a crew to mine gold in the wilderness of West Richland. His team is just a gaggle of several men related to Thera by marriage. But it's Richland so who isn't. It is rumored that entire neighborhoods carry her bloodline.

He has set claim on a plot of land thought to have a large amount of black sand. Where there is black sand, there is gold. That is what his google research has told him. Others are claiming that the black sand is really Presidents Andersons volleyball court. Either way Brad has pooled all his resources to make a go of it.

In other news, Howard has settled on the first question he'll answer for his video chat. There was a large response and many of the questions revolved around what his retirement life is like these days.

"Is everyday like a weekend?"

"Is it ever boring?"

"Are you excited when it's Friday or do you even care any more?"

He told me to give him sometime. He has some friends in town and said that they would help him throw together an answer for tomorrow.

See you then!

Tuesdays Secret of the Week- Howard's New Calling

Howard has retired! With his new found freedom he can better manage toilet paper usage, baking cookies, and fending off the IRS.

Though those keep him busy he has also started focusing on his new calling. It takes inner strength, long suffering and a great deal of patience.

He works on this with Janna every morning. And that's even before he gets to focusing on his calling.

Howard is a certified stretch and flex specialist. He is basically a yoga guru.

Because of his new calling everyone has to call him by a new name. Even his closest friends. He's been going by-

Eka Pada Rajakapotasana which translates to "One Legged King Pigeon". That pretty well describes him.

The picture to the right was taken on the coast at our annual board meeting.

No he is not sporting a beard that is actually a wool sock super glued to his face.

He's got a couple other hobbies that prevent him from actually growing a full beard. He's really a busy guy.

Come back tomorrow for a new episode of "Gold Rush West Richland" we will be following Brad as he attempts to strike it rich mining gold in the shadows of the Paradise Chapel.

Also submit your questions for "Ask Howard" where he will be responding via video chat possibly while in downward facing dog. Who knows.

3 Squares 2011 is Here!!!

Another season of film festival magic is upon us. This year is a big year for 3SFF because we relocated the corporate head quarters to the NW and held our first board of directors meeting in Lincoln City Oregon. The relocation was a huge success. The board of directors meeting was a huge flop. Nothing got accomplished. Brad napped, Ryan played Xbox, Chad was doing everything Jen doesn't and Josh gently spoke in terms none of us could understand. Better luck next year I guess.

We are bringing back some of the favorites such as "Janna Tweets" so check the sidebar and "Conversion Challenge 2011" so check in everyday. We are adding some new and exciting regulars such as "Ask Howard" where Howard will answer any burning question via video chat weekly. We may or may not have a regular segment of "Janna's Kids Confess" and "Interpreting Dreams with Sarah".

There will also be the Tom and Brad drama that Josh refers to as "Race to the Top".

Howard is worried that the blog posts won't always be appropriate. He claims he has a reputation to uphold. Something about avoiding the very appearance of evil. To which I responded by tipping my head back and cackling loudly. He really should have raised meeker children. Personally I blame James Bond.

You Thought We Were Kidding - Introducing...

Tom and The Mooners






I think Tom makes a pretty good Brad and he sings way better than he rides a bike.

Brad and Thera Bring The Big Guns

I say audition and they say here is an eleven minute video of our gorgeous children -




Beat that Smith Family from Missouri-

Good Bye 2010

When we began the 2010 Film Festival season we set the lofty goal of putting on our 2nd best year ever. All I can say is...we did it!!

We had many new exciting elements to this Christmas web experience. Janna's tweets was a huge success especially if you were lucky enough to log on on the days Janna had put up a dirty joke. Where was Howard? Oh, everywhere. I think we all have a greater appreciation for the fine art of knitting, or was that crocheting or crotching. I don't know.

The big elephant in the room of course is the one missing video. While I am confident that Phil will talk some sense into Brad I still feel this breech in 3SFF policy needs to be addressed. I was pleased that Sarah and Josh finally posted their video. It performed far and above our pathetically low standards (see Jen and Chad's video) and, it took a lot of energy to be bad mouthing both Brad and Josh and it is a relief to be able to just focus our attention on Brad now.

I know Missy was particularly upset by Brad's lack of video. I over heard her saying "I cut and pasted three heads for this event and he shows with nothing!"

And you see that is just it. We have fans that are expecting five relatively mediocre videos every Christmas. We can't just show to the party with four. It's rude.

So, without further adieu, for the 2011 Film Festival Season, we are announcing open auditions for the position of Brad. We already have families all over the country submitting their videos hoping for a shot at this coveted position.

I know what you are thinking. Wow, that's harsh. No, no. Brad can re-audition for the part of himself and we will give him an equal opportunity. All audition videos must be submitted by the start of the 2011 season.

Has Brad been cut out of the family?No way. He is still in Janna and Howard's will, there is a piece of petrified wood with his name on it. He will still be expected to do his shift at the nursing home when Howard hits 98 and at some point Janna is going to stop glaring at him.

It's just show biz folks. Have a happy new year!

Here is a taste of your competition.

Better Late Than Never

Here is our video. It is a compilation of Brad and Thera's work. I was not able to load our video to the blog... however, youtube was willing to upload my video. I don't think the blog liked the length of our video. It is l----o----n----g (that is Brad's part :-)

Here is the url to view our video. (i also posted it in the comments).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SwHna2V9Q8U

Happy New Year!!

(boy we started off bad)