I am a blank tonight. Can't think of anything truly funny to fill an entire post. The following are the random thoughts that have filled my head-
One time Chad and I tried to convince Mom she had to ride in a booster in the car when visiting us because she is so short. She didn't. Wish she had, I could have had a long post out of that.
Has anyone noticed that in all the pictures of Josh and I from our time living in Washington DC we are always posed holding up gang symbols with our fingers. Why?
Also, from that same time in our lives I can only remember eating hot dogs filled with cheese and blueberry muffins from the box. Surely we ate others things. Maybe not?
How many times a month do I call and my parents have complete strangers staying with them?
Many times.
Dad used the same green comb for easily 20 years or more. He may still be using it.
According to Missy mom is folding the towels now like they live in a day spa. Interesting.
Dad wants to write a book about having a love affair with math.
Mom reads craigslist to get a feel for what's going on in the community. Ask her the going price for a used riding lawn mower. I bet she can tell you.
On one of Chad's first visits to my parents house Grandma talked about her flatulence with him at the dinner table. Her husband confirmed it was aweful. Chad kept a straight face.
Tomorrows post will be better I promise. Have a great night everyone!
8 comments:
Just ask your dad to pull out his budget ledgers! They are fabulous! He showed some to us at a ward finance class (focusing on Dave Ramsey methods of not borrowing money). When asked if he got a loan for his new car, he hesitated and then pulled out a graph that showed he saved money by getting a loan and investing the difference and that he had the cash to pay for it at anytime. I'm sure there was more to it than that, but I don't remember. We just thought it was funny that he pulled out a graph immediately from his perfectly organized holder.
NaDell--While Josh and I were in WA a few weeks ago we got the EXACT same lesson from Howard about how it is a better financial decision to finance a car loan. In the words of Howard: 'the best time to finance a car is when you don't need to, and the worst time is when you do need to.' In other words, if you have the cash, you should finance and invest/save the cash. If you don't, you probably shouldn't buy a car.
I love it that he carried the spreadsheets with him!
My Dad reminds me of Ben Stiller in the movie Along Came Polly. My Dad would be a great risk analysist and he needs a computer program like that.... Or does he already? He has a laptop and can take his spreadsheets wherever he goes... haha
There are many kinds of Howardisms. The one I wish to address at this time is the witty, clever, and spontaneous response to someone's ambiguous statement. When you realize the ambiguity, the Howardism becomes funny.
Here's an example. I've just finished my salad at a restaurant. Before serving the main course, the waitress starts to remove my salad plate. You must realize that my fork is on the salad plate. She holds the plate within my reach and asks, "would you like to keep your fork?" To which I respond, "no thanks, it wouldn't match anything I have at home."
The spoken word is often very ambiguous. For example, someone might say, "I saw mom chasing her cat in her pajamas down the street." Of course, I would probably know what was meant because of the context of our conversation, but there are at least two possible unintended meanings: (1) the cat is wearing mom's pajamas, is running down the street, and is being chased by mom; and (2) someplace down the street mom is chasing the cat around the inside of her pajamas. Taking advantage of this ambiguity, I might respond, "I bet the cat really looked funny in your mom's pajamas." My response would be funny only to those who recognized the ambiguity; everyone else would be clueless.
I just listen for ambiguities in the things people say, then respond with something that would only apply to an unintended meaning.
One last example. A cowarker said, "my neighbor's wife was caught with a whole bunch of stolen clothes and she was busted." Oooops, that's probably not a good example. But I think you get the drift.
Maybe this will help you remember some of those old Howardisms.
Dad,
I will laugh the rest of the day. I have realized why it is so hard to come up with my own "Howardisms", it takes superior intelligence.
I am going to try and think of some while I run to the store. On second thought, maybe I'll drive. =-)
I can't believe I missed such genius back and forth commenting. I haven't laughed this hard in ages.
Here is Josh's response to this entire post:
The best Howardism I know is his response to when someone says 'I think I'm going to go jump in the shower,' to which he responds, 'you don't have to jump you can just stand there.'
You know Josh is right. When I think of a Howardism that is also the first one that comes to mind.We must have been jumping into the shower a lot as children.
Forgive me. Which of your Grandmothers was carrying on about her flatulance?
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