I spoke with Ryan last night and had to give him the bad news. He is so eager to make his big announcement and I am sure you are all here for just that, but, corporate says it has to wait. Apparently this announcement complicates things a bit. While everyone agrees that it would greatly increase viewership and definitely bring in a whole new demographic of people it also requires the development of a rating system for the films. These things take time. I told Ryan to shoot for Thanksgiving Day.
I do want to thank Ryan for all his hard work. He is head of security for the film festival. For those who don't know, Ryan packs heat (actually a very large red Swiss army knife), a wedding gift from Uncle Ray. He's a regular Dirty Harry. Thank goodness for that because where Ryan and Missy live is a cross between Kabul and Compton (only it's suburbia, with tree lined streets, families with children and a relatively low crime rate). In their first year of marriage Ryan has successfully protected Missy while taking high risk outings to TJ Maxx, Walmart, and the linens department at JC Penney. When would be criminals caught wind that Ryan was armed, and could be lurking in the Slim Jim aisle of any 7 eleven they robbed, crime in their sleepy town grinded to a halt. He's armed and can take things into his own hands if necessary, he can also take care of a hang nail and open a can of beans.
I know what you are thinking. Isn't having security a little bit overkill? It was until Sarah let it out that we were onto the terrorists and now we are on every one's radar. (see the comments section 2 posts back) Ryan now thinks it is necessary to keep the festival venue a secret until the last possible moment for every one's safety.
As far as Missy and Ryan's music video is going, well, Ryan told me he's not sure. He is seeing a whole new side of Missy. She's constantly barking "jazz hands" at Emma and has purchased bolts and bolts of lycra fabric. He'll be checking in with me regularly and I'll keep everyone posted.
Tomorrow we'll have up to date information out of Phoenix and we'll be announcing a new contest!
4 comments:
I think they need to wear all of Missy's old dance costumes. However if they do a dance song Missy and Ryan may not make it through. I heard Missy is expecting perfection from Ryan. She must keep her rep as the best dancer in the family. There is no way Ryan will let her down, Since he found out he has been studing Beoncye viedos. Trying to figure out how to shake his hips while dancing has been a particularly hard challege for him.
Alert!! We have reports from multiple sources (i.e., our TMZ affiliate in Pasco and independent paparazzi aimlessly roaming Court Street) that Ryan may delay the release of the film festival venue due to the following reasons: (1) Ryan is currently negotiating with Blackwater LLC to provide additional security; however, we hear that Blackwater is refusing to provide air support. Negotiations are ongoing; (2) Ryan has secured corporate sponsorship from the NRA, Ducks Unlimited, and Soldier of Fortune (America's premier mercenary magazine) to supply swag to all foreign dignitaries and former child actors in attendance; and (3) Ryan is having difficulty postponing his upcoming duck hunting trip with former VP Dick Cheney and several founding members of Swift Boat Veterans for Truth (SBVT)...
This just in from 3 squares Film Festival CFO Howard Rew, "Funds are running very short due to Hoskins Inc. requiring an extra streched custom limo with a full time wet nursing crew and baby docter on board at all times." Also because of this strain in the funds Rew & Company Inc. refuses to continue development without full payment and 7 second comercials before and after each production.
I'm laughing...
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