Surely You Can't Be Serious?

I am serious and don't call me Shirley.

Heart break and tragedy has struck everyone in the family this day and quite possibly everyone in the world. A great American hero has passed on.

Actor Leslie Nielsen is dead.

Howard has returned home from his latest adventure to be by Janna's side.

Nielsen is best known for his critically acclaimed work in Airplane and the Naked Gun series.

I think we can all remember the first time we watched one of these movies with Mom and inevitably she laughed so hard she wet her pants.

I know my childhood was enriched with these great works of art.

He will be missed.

Youngest Child Syndrome

Ryan was really excited to announce this year's "Conversion Challenge 2010" because after all Thanksgiving is supposed to be his big week. Did you know that Thanksgiving sometimes falls on his birthday and this year it did. How perfect was that going to be? Thursday the family gathered for a birthday dinner and to hear Ryan's big announcement. I had arranged for a correspondent from 3SFF to record the event. But, the unthinkable happened....

Ryan opened his mouth to make the big announcement and like an eagle hunting prey MISSY swooped in and stole the moment from him. Apparently she had been sitting on thIS juicy tidbit for about 8 WEEKS.

Ryan was crushed. He called me to complain-

"You know", he said "I am a pretty patient guy, I watch the Tab Choir when Janna wants me too, I let Missy decorate our house with crafts from her church nights, I endure Howard bearing his testimony every awkward moment he can get , but this, this, it was too much. This was suppose to be my week. My one chance each year to take control of this crazy situation I'm in and call the shots." He took a PREGNANT pause and then ranted some more "No more Ryan why don't you come to dinner and then bam! general conference happens to be on. No more disapproving looks when I walk in the room with a can of ...Coca Cola. You see for me Thanksgiving is the game changer each year I set the stakes and see if they truly want to play ball."

It has taken a couple days for him to come around. MISSY has apologized and says she FEELS awful and says she's JUST NAUSEOUS. Whatever.

So here it is folks this years "Conversion Challenge 2010"

Howard must play the classic "Do As I Am Doing" on the accordion with Janna on vocals while playing the tambourine. Of course entirely in the nude. To make it just that much more challenging this year the song must be performed at FHE.

Why did Ryan choose this? It's payback for all the awkward FHE's he's had to attend when everyone sings songs like "Popcorn Popping" and he has to pretend it's somehow normal.

If the challenge is met Ryan has agreed to take the discussions all through the month of December and be baptized in the Columbia River on Christmas day. Of course Brad will baptize him because Howard will no longer be worthy.

WE ARE SO EXCITED!!! RYAN'S PRETTY EXCITED TOO!

Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!

Way To Go Josh & Sarah

Josh and Sarah have successfully guessed Dad's location as being Charbonneau State Park located 12 miles from Pasco and partially bordering Lake Sacajawea.

What was the fight about?

I can't give away all the family details. What would I write about next year?

Dad is glad they guessed it because all though the park is open year round the area just got it's first snow and that could have been a cold Thanksgiving.

Coming up this week we have another performance by Josh and Sarah followed by a major announcement by Ryan and possibly a game or two.

Where In The World Is Howard?

Howard stayed close to home this time. Most of us have been to this location many times. This location was also the subject of the only fight I can remember my parents having during my childhood. Let me tell you it was a doozy!

Good Luck!

It Could Be Worse

Ryan's been cooking something up. He let me in on it a few days ago. We have a tradition here at 3SFF that Ryan makes a big announcement every Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is the holiday that Ryan gives thanks that he only married a Mormon and not a Quaker because, after all, things could be worse.

Each Thanksgiving he gives my parents their one big chance to win him over to the green jello side. It's a challenge of sorts.

This Thanksgiving you will not be disappointed.

What else is going on in the family?

Well, since you asked, Miracle is doing great. Brad's been giving Thera a break everyday by taking Miracle to open gym with him. Miracle is getting slowly indoctrinated in the ways of the bomber. She has been dressed in nothing but Green and Gold since birth and it will remain that way until her 18th birthday.

Josh and Sarah have taken up cloth diapering little Louisa and therefor we have lost all contact with them.

Chad is busy doing everything. Jen spends her quality time on wikipedia and google. The children are barely surviving.

Missy, of course, has a severe addiction to yarn.

I know what you are thinking, wow, Howard and Janna really screwed those kids up.

But, as Ryan says, it could be worse.

Above picture courtesy of my new favorite website "whatnottocrochet.wordpress.com" where people can submit things that should not ever have been crocheted.

Tragedy Strikes Moon Race 2010

Minutes ago our cyclists were attacked on the track. Live coverage has been canceled and this is the only video we have at the moment. The video clearly shows Ned racing ahead towards a certain victory with Ray and Tom battling it out in the rear. In an act of desperation Ray shoves Tom to the ground and then the unthinkable. 3SFF are calling this an act of terrorism. Our prayers are with Tom. We all hope he can swim.




See you tomorrow!

Janna found Howard and Stay Tuned

Janna has found Howard in London, England. He was visiting his old friends at the Handle Bar Mustache Club and getting a Dr. Pepper at the Windsor Castle Pub.

Don't forget to check back today for live coverage of "Moon Race 2010". Where our Uncles Ned, Ray and Tom will be battling it out for the title of greatest Moon on the bike.

See you there!

Let's Settle This Once And For All

Ned has challenged Tom and Ray to a bike race. We will be bringing you live coverage of the event tomorrow. We are keeping the location and time under wraps due to threats made by our rival film festival family. We are trying to arrange security since last weekends poisoning but Brad's napping and Sarah has lost Josh in a library. Howard is still on location in the most visited city in the world. We could use Ryan, like last year, but he's reluctant. It's cold out and Missy hasn't finished knitting his winter coat. Chad would do it but just doesn't have the time, we all know he does everything around here. We are going with the element of surprise instead. Safety is the highest priority here at 3SFF.

We'll post coverage of the race. Good luck Men!!

Hint #2

Wow, Janna and Missy should be writing this blog, they came up with great ideas for locations for Howard but...they're wrong.

Howard is out of the country meeting with a club that has been around for more than 50 years.

By the way, did you know that there is a Beard and Mustache World Championships?

Where in the World is Howard?

Howard may not sport the mustache these days but...once a mustache man, always a mustache man. He is currently on location at a famous pub with some old friends drinking Dr. Pepper.

What about prizes? Well, Missy is a little tied up knitting Emma's entire winter wardrobe. We'll get back to you on that.

What about Janna on Vocals? Are you wondering about the accordion performance? It hasn't been forgotten, just enhanced, we've got something up our sleeves here at FFHQ and it involves Ryan. Stay tuned!

Somebody Poisoned the Water Hole

I know I don't have to tell you this, but, the world of family film festival blogs is pretty high stakes and cut throat. This past weekend we saw the worst of it.

Staffers in our Arizona location were poisoned. Every man was down. Though we don't know exactly who the culprit was, we have our suspicions.

This of course has cost us precious time and staff morale is at an all time low.

To make matters worse Howard refused to go on location Thursday. Something about a new grand daughter being born. He is becoming very high maintenance. Give the man a weekly segment and he gets a big head.

We expect to be up and running with a new installment of "Where in the World is Howard Rew?" on Monday.

See you then!

Speaking of Hidden Talents

I received a shocking phone call from Missy last week. It went like this -

Missy: "Jen, brace yourself, I have some bad news."
Jen: "Oh no, you've run out of yarn?!"
Missy: "No, that would be almost as bad, but, Dad is selling his beloved accordion on craigslist."

(Missy is a habitual craigslist shopper like her mother)

Jen: "What? No, not the accordion, we have so many lovely family memories of Dad serenading us with the accordion. Think of the Christmas's, the St. Patty's days, oh, they will never be the same."

Missy: "Yes, Dad is truly talented, our childhood was filled with music because of him."
Jen: "Does mom know?"
Missy: "She's too pre-occupied taking vocal lessons and tweeting."
Jen: "Vocal lessons? Well it's about time."
Missy: "Do what you can Jen."
Jen: "Don't worry I'm on it."

So I put staffer Mason on it. He is our techno guru (the only staffer besides me that can use e-mail) and he did some investigative work.

Turns out Howard is just upgrading and the vocal lessons Janna is taking are all part of big surprise.

Howard and Janna are going to be performing for us soon!

Howard on accordion and Janna doing a vocal solo. They said if we want we can choose our favorite childhood song for them to sing. Missy has agreed to video tape it and post it to Youtube for me. What we need is your ............... song ideas! So post them. Janna has told me that she is going to be dedicating the performance to her new granddaughter "Miracle" (what a lovely name).

For those of you don't know, Miracle was born this morning at 2:30 am to a very thrilled Thera and a relieved Brad. What a blessing, Brad can still have children since his tragic church basketball accident.

For me I have great memories of Howard singing "Another One Rides the Bus" by grammy award winner Al Yankovic.


Congratulations Brad, Thera, Braden, Bradley, Christine and Miracle!!!!

Hidden Talents

Who knew that Josh and Sarah were once Olympic competitors? Sarah wanted to perform the routine below for the 2010 film festival talent showcase. The Floridians held a talent audition. No surprise, Olivia won the the lead role by a landslide. I felt for effort we should celebrate Sarah and Josh's talents anyways. See video below.

Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!

Uncle Ray Vs. Uncle Tom

Uncle Ray has submitted his own bike talent video. Who has the better skills? Submit your vote in the comments section.

One Too Many Hints-

I sit at home thinking of ways to help you all focus on where Howard is. I just can't plant the idea in your minds. Germany is not that big of a country. How many hexagon shaped towns can there be? You are all a bunch of lamos.

Rankings for the Week of November 1st

This week Missy one by a landslide in the "Famous American" contest. Mom pulled off a victory in naming Dad's character. For those that don't read the comments section, Howard was George Boldt. He is famous for popularizing Thousand Island dressing among other things.

Missy won the platypus beanie and has agreed to make Janna a special gift. Janna will be receiving a custom crocheted lap dog sweater for the future yapper Howard will never actually let her have.

Brad, Thera, Josh, and Sarah are all in dead last entirely due to lack of effort. Josh says he is busy working on a PHD, something he has been claiming for years and quite frankly we are all pretty skeptical. Brad is, as I have said before, at Open Gym. Ryan also has done nothing this week but everyone gives him a pass on account that he's married to Missy, a job in itself.

The point totals are:

Missy - 9
Janna- 1


Hint on Howard: When Howard developed this passion Janna was very irritated. To continue enjoying the thing he loves Howard resorted to giving Janna gifts.

Hint

Howard is really getting stressed out. He's tired of being stuck in Germany. He is enjoying the people, since the inhabitants of this town all share something in common with him. He has, of course, already looked up all the Rew's in the phone book and made personal calls to them, but he does that on any extended vacation.

Now Howard is left to wondering the streets of this 330 year old city shaped like a hexagon looking for people in need of advice on whether to buy or lease a car. If only he could be home doing someone's taxes.

Where in the world is...Howard?

Howard is currently on location in the birthplace of one of his great passions. You must name the town.

I had hoped to entice you with some sort of crocheted knick knack, but, alas, Ryan has hid the knitting needles. Apparently he is heading up some sort of intervention. He claims Missy spends her days knitting beanies and watching "Keeping Up with the Kardashians". The house is a wreck and Missy hasn't showered in days.

Missy texted me this "total misunderstanding, holding Ryan's Xbox hostage till he gives up the needles."

Stay tuned for prized detail. Tomorrow we will return with an update on the scores and rankings, and also what prizes have been one and what prizes are still to come.

Also we have received no news on Miracle Baby as of yet. We know Brad and Thera have waited so long for this (years) and they are just counting down the days till her arrival. With all of Brad's church basketball injuries it's amazing he could pull this one off.

I have been told that Thera is spending her time organizing the new house in preparation for the arrival. Brad is passing the time at open gym at the junior high.

Good luck guessing!

What was Howard shaving?

We are now able to add open comments to the entire blog. Let's say you would like to publicly speculate on what Howard was shaving in the shower this morning, no worries, now there is a way!

Become a follower of this blog and you can openly comment on anything in the comment box below "Janna Tweets".

How do you follow this Blog (because Janna wants to know)? Click the word follow at the top of this blog then enter your google account info.

Keep all your comments clean!

Uncle Tom Submits His Own Talent Video

Look guys...no hands!

Running on Fumes, Mayo and a bit of Ketchup

This morning has been business as usual at Film Festival Headquarters. Someone forgot to fill up the gas tank of the company car (my money is on David), so staffer Chad had to ride his bike while wearing his Jesus Heals t-shirt and carrying a gas can all the way to the local gas station and back.

If you haven't been following along (referring to Josh), Missy has successfully guessed every one's character except for Dad and Chad's. I need to clarify that Betsy Ross was not chosen for her refusal to marry a Quaker (although that is hilarious) and instead for her insistence on always having some type of sewing project in her lap. Chad is Otto Schnering best known as the inventor of the Baby Ruth candy bar (Chad's favorite) and also best known for his ongoing lawsuits with the great Bambino over the candy bar, which was supposedly named after Ruth, Grover Cleveland's daughter.

I am going to give everyone the rest of the day on Dad's. There is a hint hidden in this very post.